Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Bad day

There was this nice, happy time once.
A time when I liked Holi.

I fucking hate Holi now.
I mean, really. Do people have to go around on scooters banging eggs into other people's heads? Or into my head?
Or grease covered balloons on my tuition books when I'm right outside my tuition center?

Ah, tuition. That reminds me. I have a new batch. No, no 60 kids sitting in two neat gender based sections this time. It gets better. 6 guys one side, and thy mighty me in the corner on one edge. Woe betide me if I dare tread their side *mock horror*, they will swiftly push their chairs away as far as they can. Woe betide me if I dare initiate a conversation, I am the other species. Woe betide you if you ask me a doubt, the others will stare. And woe betide me if I dare suggest you take my notebook instead of trying to copy the answer discreetly whenever you think I'm not looking.
But I digress.
This is a Holi rant, isn't it?
My neck hurts. The guy was too late with the egg, it burst in his hand, and it was the hand that hit me. I'm strong right? I went ahead till I reached home, shaken but stoic. I walked in, where no one noticed anything since they were too busy with the telly. I'm still strong, so I went upstairs, where my mum told me to take a rickshaw back next time onwards, and get the stink out of my head. I'm really, really strong, so I went to the bathroom to get everything washed out, and as I locked the door, it was only then that I started crying.
Damn.
Bad day.


PS : If you dare comment saying,"Bura na maano, Holi hai;" I will personally roast you alive.

20 comments:

ishmeet said...

I used to be an ardent Holi fan till I was 12 years old. It's been 6 years now but I still remember that day very well. And it was pretty bad, so that should give you some consolation.

Those days, designer pichkaari's were in fashion. I bought a small one which had a fish shaped tank and two small guns from wherein the water came. The difference between my pichkaari and a normal one was just about the difference between a rocket launcher and a pistol. But I didn't worry, what could have gone wrong? And I had friends, tall old friends with big pichkaari's to save my ass if anything went wrong. So we were roaming about on the streets when we saw this guy on the road without any "weapons". We thought we would have a lot of fun with this guy. We approached him and suddenly I figured I was the only one going towards him. Everybody else had run away because they had realized that he had grease on his hands. I however went ahead with confidence and fired my weapon at him. He laughed, caught hold of me and covered my entire face with grease as my so called friends watched on and laughed. I went home, almost in tears and showed my face to me mom. She said there was only one way she could get the grease off..petrol. So she took some from the scooter and washed my face with it. It was horrible. I remain inside my house every Holi now. I hate that festival. Bloody useless guys who have nothing to do keep splashing shit on each other. Feel better now? You're not the only one.

Also, yeah, you are strong. But why did you cry? Because it hurt or because of the attitude of the parents?

And I don't blame your tuition guys, you yourself say you like to scare people. Bechaare padhne aate hain, goth chicks dekhne nahi. :P Mummy ghar se warning dekar bhejti hogi - Beta, bachke rehna, aaj kal ki ladkiyon ka koi bharosa nahi. :P

And now, to end this comment with the fact of the day - Did you know why Gabbar from Sholay always kept asking, "Holi kab hai?"

....
....
....

It was because Holi was the only day he smelled decent. He never took a bath and on the Holi day, when people put those scented gulaal's and stuff on him, he actually smelled reasonable and the chicks didn't mind him much. Hence, the excitement about Holi. Of course, they didn't use Anda's and Tamaatar's in Holi during those days. :P

Bura maano bhai, Holi hai.

Nik said...

Woe betide you for hurling a jamais vu on me.

So, my spartan friend, want to pay em back? I have a couple of ideas.. ;-)

The Keeper of the Keys said...

how pathecially awful man!
and holi's not even near yet.
may that idiot catch bird flue, and be scrambled to death andbe poached till he screams. i'll personally ensure he's made omlette of.

keep your sunny side up.

The Keeper of the Keys said...

ishmeet.

you just turned me off holi.

Vasudha said...

Ishmeet : Aww, that's awful-er. And I can't feel better because of that because I'm still not a sadist [yet], but yeah, good to know I'm not the only one. :)

I was really frustrated because of the whole tuition scenario, especially because I don't do Goth anymore [:P] and its annoying when you have to put up with snide comments. Plus I had to shut up completely for one whole hour, which is tough when you're me, lol. And everything else did nothing to help matters, so that was it.

LOL@ Gabbar. Usko koi Axe hi gift kar deta. :P

Nik : I don't know who it was! I'd be bubbling over with smugness otherwise :P You have chronic jamais vu anyway, no harm done. :D

KotK : Haha, I love you for the rant! :D May your words be prophetic, O Great One. :P

Prerna : You're forgiven, that was more sympathetic than Dish at least.
Me - I got hit by an egg yesterday.
Dish - Omg, you hair must be looking so great now!

o.O
And what's that about suicide I hear, missy? :/

Disha said...

I meant, woh soft ho gaye honge.
:/


I got three eggs on my head last Holi.

So there.
The only difference was probably that it was on Holi day.. and my ex-crush had phodofied them.

And the only good thing out of it was that I got over him.
And also, mere baal aur acche ho gaye. :)

Nik said...

Ah, well. We could bring hell and reek havoc for your fellow classmates at you tuition center... that'd be fun.

ishmeet said...

I know you're not a sadist, you were supposed to derive pleasure out of the fact that you're not the only one it could have happened to, and that you did.

I can understand your tuition ordeal. When I had begun tuitions in 11th, I had gone to this new place and knew nobody in there. It was super boring because the teacher was way too intellectual, I had no friends, there were no good looking chicks. And being quiet for 1 hour is really tough when you're me too. But I've learned staying quiet now because whenever I talk to my parents about technology, they ignore me and hence I have to keep quiet. About the tuition guys, you can only hope it takes them some time to open up to you. Or else maybe wait for some new girls to join the tuition?

Gabbar was desperate for Axe after he had seen that advertisement on TV wherein chicks run after the guy who's put on Axe, actually he thought he could do with Set Wet..very very sexy too but unfortunately, all the deodorant factories were owned by Thakur. And then he hired Jai and Veeru to protect 'em. Gabbar's men were actually trying to steal deodorants when the famous "Woh do aur tum teen, fir bhi vaapis aa gaye..kya socha tha? Sardar khush hoga? Shabhashi dega" waala incident happened. :P

And Disha's comment reminds me, Holi is on 20th or 21st right? WTF was the guy doing phodofying anda's like 10 days before Holi? Matlab khushi aur excitement ki bhi koi limit hoti hai yaar.

L@$H@ said...

i loved the last line (he he!)
but hey, there is surely something known as revenge right??
ur supposed to hit back with a better, larger egg, and...a surely better aim...

Vasudha said...

Disha : Tumhare baal vaise hi achhe hai yaar. :)

And this is the Emma Watson vala crush we're talking about, right? If yes, then I've tortured the guy enough for you to not need revenge. :P

Nik : Not when I succeeded in having in conversation today. You have the details. :P

Ishmeet : I didn't know anyone when I joined either, but no one was this hostile. And no good looking guys here too, btw. :P The teacher is fine, he goes on about me being the favourite to the tenthies. :| Anyhow. Its improving, marginally. :)

LOL. You have one soaring imagination. :P Though he Gabbar could do with some Set Wet, yeah. Or maybe he could try Parachute, and do the Sreesanth jig. That would go with Basanti ka naach. :D

Yahan nahi hoti. Grease started a week back. :| I'm locking myself up on Holi. O.o

Lasha : Lol, you think I'm one to let go of opportunities for revenge? I can't really go around whacking every guy I see, really. :P

ishmeet said...

Don't even remind me of my teachers lol, they were both IITians and both really weird. Actually the Chemistry guy was pretty nice, the Physics one was a devil. The Chemistry guy was actually much like me..in language and all. I asked him one day, "Sir, can I come to clear my doubts in the evening?" and he went, "Haan haan, kabhi bhi aa jaana, main to yahin pada rehta hoon." Pada rehta hoon? That is my standard response when anybody asks me what's up. I always say, bas yaar, pada hua hoon. The Physics guy was one of those serious types and he used to call our parents when we wouldn't do the homework. Who does that to bloody 17 year old people? I made communities about all of them on Orkut actually..namely my two Physics teachers and Chemistry and Maths teacher. Remind me someday, I'll give you the link. :P

Good to know the situation is improving, chaar paanch saal mein you'll have the guys sitting with you on the same bench and staring at you instead of the blackboard/whiteboard. Badhiya hai. :P

Haha yeah, he can do the parachute. Then he can buy himself a TVS Star City and do a Dhoni as well. Finally seal it by becoming a Ranbir Kapoor by drinking Pepsi. Yeh hai gabbaristan meri jaan! :P

Ande's started a week back? That's sad. Log itne jaada vehle hain. Yahaan pe to abhi kuch nahi ho raha, or maybe it's just that I didn't notice because my entire group is busy studying Maths.

brocasarea said...

only time i played holi was when i was in delhi[15 years back]..!...now neither interested nor can celebrate it!

wild iris said...

Ah. The things people think they can get away with in the name of Holi. This girl at college got this whole box full of eggs and hit them at random people's heads. And here i thought only guys go to such lengths. Hmph.

sporadicblogger said...

I'm sorry. That should never have happened with you. That should not happen with anybody, and I wish people would see that.

And really, Holi is just an excuse for people to release their sexual frustration. I did know this until my first year, when we deconstructed Holi in class.

As far as I see it, nobody has the right to intrude on my personal space, no, not even on Holi.

sporadicblogger said...

Wild Irsi- Who would that be? ;)

Vasudha said...

Ishmeet : Lol, sure, I don't mind the links. The closest I came to making a community of someone I know was assisting in the Mata Nitya Devi [see blogroll!] Community. :P And its probably something to do with Physics teachers being universally devilish. You must've rubbed on on the Chem one. :D

Yeah, yeah. The syllabus is anyway the sort that will take me five years to finish. How the hell do you manage to come online before your Math Board?! SOS.
No benches btw, solo chairs thankfully. Otherwise I'd be sitting on a bench alone. :|

Lmao, if he's going for Dhoni he should try Brylcreem. The UV Glow one, or one of the new green and orange ones. Deshbhakt Gabbar :D

Velle toh hai hi, but the andas seem to have stopped. I haven't encountered anymore, just a little kid staring me in the face with one of those pichkaris that you can conceal in your hand. :P


Brocasarea : Holi can be fun if its celebrated within sane limits. It usually is fun actually. I've scared off guys by pretending to aim air filled balloons at them. And the guys were moronic enough to actually run away even when the balloons fell lazily down. :| :P Thanks for stopping by! :)

Wild Iris : It was at college, so that must've been in daylight, no? That's better than being hit at night, and from the back, like I was. As for things, I'm er.. guilty too? Look above :P Ah well, mine was harmless fun. Thanks for visiting :)

Sporadic Blogger : I wish people would too, but it seems wishing would be futile as long as people don't alter their definition of fun. There's a fine line between things being entertaining and thing's being a nuisance, and its started being tread upon a little too often for my liking.

I agree completely with the last line. Especially on Holi.

wild iris said...

@ishmeet: really man, when DO you study??
@sporadicblogger: Wow, you deconstructed Holi in class? Lol!! And as to your second comment, :D *my lips are sealed* :P
@vasudha: yep, twas daylight. And yep, yours was harmless fun :P

sporadicblogger said...

Kriti-Yes, we had a goddes called HI. Deconstruction happened in a Ghashiram Kotwal class. We had, er, deviated, somewhat :P

Oh, maybe if you guys are lucky, you'll have HI coming back next year :D

ishmeet said...

@Vasudha: I had 10 chutti's in the Maths board yaar. You can't expect me to keep studying 24 hours. Hell, my attention span is like 15 minutes anyway. I started my tayyari I think on 16th. From 10th to 15th I was deciding whether to prepare from NCERT or from one of those competition waala books.

@Krits: Again, when you were giving your 12th boards, did you study 24/7? Everyone takes a break once in a while right? In my case, I study once in a while between the breaks. :P

Reema said...

I hate holi too..The last time I played I was in class 2!! after that only once with water in hostel.

 

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