Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Winters

Golden streams cascading down
My eyes bow low before who
Lulling me softly to a world beyond
The rich amber an intoxicating dream

Early morning tingles
A shiver upon my brow
Cold marble beneath my feet
A lazy ether locked tightly in a jar

Hot soup and Parmesan sprinkles
Guised alien woolen quadruplets
Long hot water baths
Extra large Fries

Human puffballs
Five-minute-more naps
Five-rupee-coffee breaks
Five-AM dark skies
Five-PM fiery hues

Rediscovering winter-y songs
Deja vu
Losing yourself
Peek-a-boo with life
Thought treks
Oddities and oddness
Contentment.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Business Studies

Ever wondered how much happier a place the world would be if jeans' manufacturers tagged their jeans two sizes too small?



I've been studying. Yeah, right.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Clothes maketh the woman, and irketh the parents

Yesterday was one of my Damn-I-Care Dress Days. Damn-I-Care Dress Days usually involve one or more of the following : neon coloured hair extensions, ties, copious amounts of kohl, fishnet ankle socks, fingerless gloves, Tantra tees, and ribbons as laces [I have a thing for clothes, don't I? :P] Yesterday's inspiration for Damn-I-Care Dress Day was Billie Joe Armstrong. Use a simple Permutation and Combination formula [the same P and C things you learnt your teacher taught in class] and you get a fair idea of what I looked like. By some weird twist of fate I have yet to figure out, Damn-I-Care Dress Days coincide with Days People Pretend To Not Know Me. You go figure. :P

So how do I manage to get permission to step out of the house looking like a punk reject? Presenting : The 123 strategy for successfully manipulating parents to agree with your dressing sensibilities!
*pauses for applause*
Ah, thank you, thank you. And you!
*wipes proud tear from eye*

Without further ado:

Step 1:
Choose a suitable, spectacle free time to present yourself.

If your mum is like mine, she's probably busy for most part of the day. Plus she's absent minded, so she's pretty likely to forget where she last kept her specs. Like I say [and she vehemently denies], age catches up. There's your break. Seize the moment. Ask her how you look. Since she won't admit to the failing eyesight, she'll have to make do with a blurry view. Parental egos can be helpful sometimes. So the mother pretends to look intrigued, when inside she is in a state of utter mental turmoil.

YOU - "How do I look, Mum?"

MUM BRAIN IN ACTION - "That get up is sort of weird, isn't it? Stop. Are those even clothes? Note to self : wear lenses permanently. If I say she looks blasphemous, she'll ask her whys and hows. Which, curse those glasses, I can't answer. Pfft. Un-blasphemous is safer."

MUM - "Um, good. Yeah."


Slick.
Easy does it.

*


Step 2:
The Mind Game

What does your average, normal teen love the most? Disagreeing with her parents on most matters. What do your average, normal parents love the most? Disagreeing with their most-unlike-us-when-we-were-sensible-adolescents teen on most matters. How do you tap into this humongous potential source of freedom? Just think of what a goody, goody you from a parallel universe would say. Thought? Now play the reel backwards.

YOU - "Hey, mum. Don't I look absolutely scruffy?"

MUM BRAIN IN ACTION - "Absolutely WHAT?! Isn't that MY dialogue? Oh Ram, Ram. None of the Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi episodes showed Tulsi handling this. What do I do? Dharm Sankat. Breathe in, breathe out. Count to 10. 1..2...3...4.. Beep, beep. One message received. Normal Parental Response says to contradict the little high headed miss. Ha! Take that, o kid of mine! I will NOT agree to what you say! Mwahahaha!

MUM - "Why, not really, no. You look pretty spiffing good!"

YOU - "Haan, matashree. Aapke vichaar sarvochch satya hain."

I'm an agyakaari daughter. :P

*


Step 3:
Tap the You're-My-Idol Advantage

Now that you've gone past base camp, you need to ensure it withstands future outings too. Give an indirect ego boost. Butter up!

YOU - "This brooch looks good, doesn't it? Exactly like the one in your college reunion photograph, no?"

MUM BRAIN AT THOUGHT - "What a pet! She absolutely adores me! And that brooch really does go with those, um, shreds of cloth. Even if it is barely visible under those...whatever they are. At least she thought of wearing it, my perfect little punkster princess! Siiiiiigh."

MUM -" *overcome with emotion* Yes, dear. * gulp* It does."

YOU - *saintly smile*

And there you have it.
Strike three, and OUT! :D

Friday, January 18, 2008

Procrastination

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[Till my final exams only :)]

Composite Demand

In my Economics class :

Q. Name a commodity possessing composite demand.

Ans. A Colgate 360 toothbrush with a tongue cleaner at the back.





Well, I did get the concept right.
*smiles gingerly*

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Whaadever Stuff

How do you kill two birds with one stone?
Thwack and thwack?
No.

Thwack.Thwack.
whizz.....BOOM!
Thud.


The PETA monster gets you!
Hahahahahahahahaha!
Stop, now. It isn't funny to writhe and shriek in laughter. Cough, cough.

Okay, shoot, I can't be funny to save my life.
There, count the puns.
One, two, buckle my shoe.

Argh.
The whole point of this post is......um, something.
Yes!
You kill two birds with one stone by going to Adventure Island, then riding the Sidewinder till you're tipsy, and then finishing off the day capturing a heavenly sunset.




There, I'm done now.
Scamper.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

New year, same old

Well begun is half done, innit? *
So how is a first day at tuition supposed to be? Do you go wearing a collared shirt with a tie and a pleated skirt and horn rimmed glasses? I wouldn't know, I never had tuitions before the XIth. Except for this Math tutor my mum once called, who lasted precisely twenty minutes. Ah well.
I have that effect on people.

Anyway, this year [yes, I know its '08, I meant academic year, genius] I finally succumbed to the money minting bag of commercialized shit called coaching centers. The first day, I reached my center early [ group tuitions, har de har!] since I had to ask about the fees and stuff. The teacher in charge of the XIth was busy, so I was shuttled away to the classroom for my batch, where I waited, listening to my iPod, blowing chewing gum bubbles, being my nonchalant best. Alright, just the iPod, but you get the picture. Just then, this guy entered, and stared at me like I was a Vogon. It might have been the clothes [Black tee, striped arm band, tie, ripped jeans, Converse high tops - okay, so at least I got the tie right. I'll learn. Pleated skirt next year. Promise :P] I goggled back, and he went and sat behind me. Next up, a girl came, gaped, rolled her eyes and scampered off to the seat farthest away from where I was. I checked the address I was given nervously, sighed and went back to J-Timberlake telling me what went around came around. Since this didn't do much to raise my [pretty low] spirits, I slumped resignedly in my chair and waited for everyone else to come. The girls smirked, or gave me the eyes, while the guys stood agape.
Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath.

By this time, I was through with it. I looked back, hoping to see someone, anyone I recognized, and what I saw made my jaw drop.

Neatly divided into two blocks, and each acting oblivious to the other's presence, sat everyone. The girls all on one side, and the guys on the other.......the side right behind me. I coloured. Making a social faux pas on Day 1 hadn't been that high on my priority list. One involving 60 pairs of eyes on me less so.

Its been six months since I joined, but even then the sexist demarcation never ceases to amaze me, even though I'm the only person at tuition from a non coed school. Especially since I'm the only person at tuition from a non coed school.

But its the new year, and I guess the psychological desire to initiate a change at the crack of a new anything [Monday diets, anyone? :P] has finally seeped in at my coaching institute too.

Because now, fellow humans, and ye gods of humanity, the time is ripe for change.

And therefore, [emphasize therefore] the boys and girls have..............
.............swapped sides.
Touche.


*Also, alls well that ends well.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day school reopens after the winter vacation.

Tomorrow is also the day I get back my second Unit exam sheets.

Tomorrow is the day that threatens to make my blog updates a little intermittent.

Tomorrow is the day..... *gulps* I am not really looking forward to.

 

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