Golden streams cascading down
My eyes bow low before who
Lulling me softly to a world beyond
The rich amber an intoxicating dream
Early morning tingles
A shiver upon my brow
Cold marble beneath my feet
A lazy ether locked tightly in a jar
Hot soup and Parmesan sprinkles
Guised alien woolen quadruplets
Long hot water baths
Extra large Fries
Human puffballs
Five-minute-more naps
Five-rupee-coffee breaks
Five-AM dark skies
Five-PM fiery hues
Rediscovering winter-y songs
Deja vu
Losing yourself
Peek-a-boo with life
Thought treks
Oddities and oddness
Contentment.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Winters
Labels: Musings, Nonsense, Poems, Pseudo Poetry
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27 comments:
A very good poem overall. However, a couple of lines are too long. They damage the flow. Break them up.
At places, the articles gave a somewhat prosaic feel to the thing. But that's just my opinion.
I really like the poem. Especially the second stanza.
Prerna's motion seconded if you promise you'll keep writing interesting poems like these and not boring ones like "Ode to the West Wind" and stuff. Funny I don't remember any poem from 11th grade.
The last paragraph is my personal favorite.
I actually liked Ode to the West Wind. It is insanely difficult to write something like that. Atleast for me, it is. The poem only reflects P.B. Shelley talent as a poet.
The 11th standard textbook is blessed with few and very uninteresting poems. I only like The Voice of the Rain and Childhood. The rest are just... bleh. Especially The Laburnum Top which can be considered a fine, lesson in using awful metaphors.
Prerna : Five rupee coffee that has a tendency to be particularly addictive in a tastelessly boring sort of way that can only be achieved by scalding canteen vaali local coffee. :P
Bharat : Yeah? I started off with a very different idea of what I was going to write, something "normal" for a change, but midway, the words just came tumbling out, and that's how they ended up there. I just can't do normal. :| :P That said, I'd still agree with what you say. In the first and the third stanza particularly. Editing table, here I come.Whooz.
And the articles, which ones d'you think?
Ishmeet : Its barely a poem, more plain ol' rambles. :P But then, thanks anyway.
The Frog and the Nightingale and Mirror, now those were boring. You don't remember any poem from the 11th? That's funny, neither do I. :P
Bharat again : Ode to the West Wind is one my favourite poems. Liked Rime of the Ancient Mariner too. In retrospect, last year was actually fun :D
Haven't attended any English classes this year, so can't speak much about the 11th syllabus. The Voice of the Rain is probably the best out of them. I don't like Vikram Seth somehow, and the Tale of the Melon City has some mind numbing rhyme work. :|
I never took Ode to the West Wind seriously because there were some incidents which made me hate it. I'm not somebody who can understand poems by reading the summary in some extra book. Either I'll pester the teacher to teach it again and if she doesn't teach it, I'll write whatever I've understood of the poem. That's what I did in 10th and that Ode to the West Wind question always used to be wrong. I finally read the summary on the morning I had the board exam, couldn't understand a thing and I think I screwed up the Ode questions in the exam too. I didn't really mind The Frog and the Nightingale though. I liked the part where he named all the animals like Duke of Kent and stuff. There was this one poem about a Scorpion biting somebody that I didn't like much.
And now I remember some of the 11th poems because Bharat has mentioned. The Laburnam Top was bad, I never did even one question from that one throughout the year. There's one called "The Photograph" or something too? The one in which the poetess talks about her mothers photograph with the sea and all. I kinda liked that one.
If you guys have the same book I do next year, there'll be many nice and lame boring poems. Keeping Quiet is one, An Elementary School Classroom in a Slum is another. But anyway, why am I telling you that..tum log is saal ka syllabus to shuru karo, agle saal ka to agle saal dekhna. :P
Ish: A poem is for you to interpet the way you want. As long as you can justify it, it should be accepted. I remmeber, in 6th there was this Tennyson poem called The Brook. The teacher went on about a hidden meaning and that the brook represented the journey of life blah blah blah. She asked to write an article on it. I got sick of all that deep meaning bs. I interpreted it as a simple poem about a brook. That's all. She appreciated my effort and my willingness to think differently.
Vasudha: The poem/ramble reads much better now.
h'mmm... i had posted a comment earlier...
either way, kid it is an excellent poem (u broke me).
juts edit the 1st and 3rd stanzas, the long phrases brake the flow...
ishmeet: i love ode to the west wind. it's a brilliant poem. it's lyrical and it holds meaning beyond the obvious and it incorporates details from mythology to reality making it incredible literature.
bharat: i remember the poem the brook, and i remember i couldn't (and stil cant) spell onomatopoeia... but the "deeper" meaning of the poem isnt all that cryptic.. "for men may come and mean may go but i go on forever"
The Brook isn't all that cryptic yeah, but I got sick of listening to my teacher talk like a wise old hermit.
Oh and I can spell onomatopoeia AND Schwarzenegger, which come to think of it, is not a really tough word to spell.
Ishmeet : The best guide to studying English is ignore whatever your teacher says :D Interpret poems yourself, just don't forget to validate your interpretation articulately. Night of the Scorpion, ah. I had major disagreements with my teacher on that one too. She said it was an impassive account of the whole ordeal, whereas I said he wouldn't have mentioned certain incidents had he not wanted to put a certain impression across. By the next poem we did, my teacher started ignoring me. :P
Laburnum Top, yeah well, what do you expect of a poem that tries to call a tree a motor in a supposedly beautiful poetic way? :P
Bang on. High time I got started with this year's course. Finals in two weeks. Sigh.
Bharat : Yeah? Thanks for the help :)
Nik : Did edit. Too lazy to re-edit. Bah. :P
Gotta worship Shelley.
Be thou me, impetuous one! :P
Terza rima :) I love the fifth canto :D
call me pathetic, but i dont really get poems. For me a poem should rhyme and be funny.(i know they call those limericks but still) I am sorry but i really didnt get ur 'pome'.
I TRIED VERY HARD
TO BE A BARD
BUT EVENTUALLY HAD TO DISCARD
WITH MY EGO SCARRED
a masterpiece
A ramble by any other name sounds just as crazy,
I would have edited the labels, but hell, I'm too lazy.
:P
Oh, and limericks are five lines apiece [aa bb a], not four.
that was great
i dont curse coz i want to pass thu the pearly gates
but for the rhyming scheme's sake
thats a risk i am willing to take
the poem stank like a public urinal
nothing personal.
Gollum
Lol. Yeah, okay. If you say so.
I can interpret poems on my own alright but explaining my viewpoint to the teacher is one different thing because I'm rather impatient and give up when the teacher refuses to acknowledge me. Not my fault yo. And I think I'm no good at English anymore..I've never crossed 80 in 12th and all that after I did extra books on literature. English is the only subject I study for the exams. English because it doesn't bore me and computers because that way I can get to sit on the computer all day and fool my parents into believing that I'm actually doing coding and stuff. And our teacher is rather insane too..I've never gone to a teacher's house to study Physics, Chemistry or Math but computers I have.
You've been tagged!! :)
i give up.
aaahhhhh.. what a life!!! Bliss!! :)
Ishmeet : My English teacher refuses to give me anything more than a 79.9, since "there is no possible way anyone can be given an 80." No sweat man, your blog speaks. Your English is 90+ Board material :)
Shruti : Thanks! Will get meme responding asap :D Bliss is the word. =)
Nik : *shocked* Whaa?!
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