Help, the Orkut desperadoes are invading reality!

Shh. They're creeping up towards you, silently. Swiftly. Those shadows, they just wavered. There are pin pricks on your neck. They're gaining fast, on tip toes, stealthily. And in one fluid motion they're gonna land right below you ear and whisper softly,"Hiiiiii! Can I do fraandsips with you?"

Yes, m'fraands er, friends, the Orkut desperadoes taketh over. Previously thought to be confined to the shady interiors of your friendly neighborhood cyber cafes, they're coming fast. And how.

13th February, 2008
School reception

The teachers are having a Lohri party of sorts in the staff room, and I'm filling in for the receptionist. The things you have to do just because you're the only bakra on offer, since the Science section has practicals and the rest have prep leave. I sit, resigned. There's a sheaf of blank paper sheets in front of me and I'm waiting for inspiration to strike. But honestly, inspiration can do naught but yawn, looking at me grappling with a distraught mother on the phone who's daughter left her report card in school. So I well, yawn too.

Then, this wiry looking guy walks in, looks around, and rubs his tongue over his wiry looking lips. Let's call him RODT.

RODT : Oh hi. I'm from Oxford Univ Press. Can I meet your Princi?
Me: Princi? Um, right. She's um, occupied at the mo' [rather helpful thumping noise from the staff room], so why don't you have a seat?
RODT : Thank you SO much. Are you in this school?
Me: Uh huh.
RODT : Do you study in this school?
Me: Not really. I mean, yes. Yeah. [starts nodding head real fast]
RODT : I'm doing my MBA.
Me: Oh, um, alright. Glad to know that.
RODT : What class are you in?
Me: 11th.
RODT : I'm Rahul.
Me: Oh. Okay.
RODT : What is your name?
Me: [thinking this is going to be a long day] Vasudha.
RODT : Vaasdha?
Me: No. [pointed stare] Vuh-su-dha.
RODT : Okay! Hi, Vasudha!
Me: Um.
RODT : I like your uniform. Its not skirt-shirt, no? Is it some order or something?
Me: I don't think I would know.
RODT : You are in Science stream?
Me: Nah, Commerce. [Yay, stereotype one. Reason number one to bust this guy]
RODT : Commerce? Oh, even I was from Commerce!
Me: Yeah? Great. [Thanks a God, if any, that the guy didn't say same pinch]
RODT : So so. How much did you get in the tenth?
Me: Um. 93%.
RODT : What? 93% in Commerce?
Me: [Must not hit...must not hit...must not hit...] Yes. 92.8% Whatever.
RODT : Oye hoye! [?!] I got 76% in twelfth. And in my final year graduation, I got 66%. My dad says,"Log toh upar jaate hai, you toh only down jaate ho." I don't know, he is always so dissatisfied with me. Kya yaar.
Me: [O.o Starts beaming out frantic SOS signals] Hey, that's okay. Still a first division. *big cheery grin* [fake]
RODT : Yeah. So what are you planning to do after this?
Me: Huh!? After this?
RODT : After 12th yaar!
Me: Oh. That. Um, I don't know. Something in advertising, I guess.
RODT : Oh ho, so you are a creative person then!
Me: Um, maybe?
RODT : Even I am a creative person yaar. I am going to do advertising after my MBA too.
Me: Good Lord, no..
RODT : What, what?
Me: Me? Nothing, really. *big cheery grin again* [fake]
RODT : Very nice. You know, I like creative peoples very much. So, take one more card of mine, okay? This is a special card for creative peoples like me. So keep in touch, okay? *big cheery grin* [not fake]
Me: [Yeah, I'll keep in touch if it involves kicking wiry asses] Um, right.

I take the special card from his outstretched hand. At the back of it, unlike on the card he gave to be given to my Principal, in big bold letters, is a ten digit phone number.

*

Half an hour later, I rub my hands after a job well done. Every kid from the Science section who had their Chemistry practical that day is in possession of a number they can now call in case they need to creatively tackle their boredom with tales of missing socks, or fires in the bathroom. After all, if the Random Orkut Desperado Types start taking over the world, can the evil She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named Sorts be far behind? :D

----*****----

Update : 30/03/08

Go play. *grins*

Bad day

There was this nice, happy time once.
A time when I liked Holi.

I fucking hate Holi now.
I mean, really. Do people have to go around on scooters banging eggs into other people's heads? Or into my head?
Or grease covered balloons on my tuition books when I'm right outside my tuition center?

Ah, tuition. That reminds me. I have a new batch. No, no 60 kids sitting in two neat gender based sections this time. It gets better. 6 guys one side, and thy mighty me in the corner on one edge. Woe betide me if I dare tread their side *mock horror*, they will swiftly push their chairs away as far as they can. Woe betide me if I dare initiate a conversation, I am the other species. Woe betide you if you ask me a doubt, the others will stare. And woe betide me if I dare suggest you take my notebook instead of trying to copy the answer discreetly whenever you think I'm not looking.
But I digress.
This is a Holi rant, isn't it?
My neck hurts. The guy was too late with the egg, it burst in his hand, and it was the hand that hit me. I'm strong right? I went ahead till I reached home, shaken but stoic. I walked in, where no one noticed anything since they were too busy with the telly. I'm still strong, so I went upstairs, where my mum told me to take a rickshaw back next time onwards, and get the stink out of my head. I'm really, really strong, so I went to the bathroom to get everything washed out, and as I locked the door, it was only then that I started crying.
Damn.
Bad day.


PS : If you dare comment saying,"Bura na maano, Holi hai;" I will personally roast you alive.

New year, same old

Well begun is half done, innit? *
So how is a first day at tuition supposed to be? Do you go wearing a collared shirt with a tie and a pleated skirt and horn rimmed glasses? I wouldn't know, I never had tuitions before the XIth. Except for this Math tutor my mum once called, who lasted precisely twenty minutes. Ah well.
I have that effect on people.

Anyway, this year [yes, I know its '08, I meant academic year, genius] I finally succumbed to the money minting bag of commercialized shit called coaching centers. The first day, I reached my center early [ group tuitions, har de har!] since I had to ask about the fees and stuff. The teacher in charge of the XIth was busy, so I was shuttled away to the classroom for my batch, where I waited, listening to my iPod, blowing chewing gum bubbles, being my nonchalant best. Alright, just the iPod, but you get the picture. Just then, this guy entered, and stared at me like I was a Vogon. It might have been the clothes [Black tee, striped arm band, tie, ripped jeans, Converse high tops - okay, so at least I got the tie right. I'll learn. Pleated skirt next year. Promise :P] I goggled back, and he went and sat behind me. Next up, a girl came, gaped, rolled her eyes and scampered off to the seat farthest away from where I was. I checked the address I was given nervously, sighed and went back to J-Timberlake telling me what went around came around. Since this didn't do much to raise my [pretty low] spirits, I slumped resignedly in my chair and waited for everyone else to come. The girls smirked, or gave me the eyes, while the guys stood agape.
Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath.

By this time, I was through with it. I looked back, hoping to see someone, anyone I recognized, and what I saw made my jaw drop.

Neatly divided into two blocks, and each acting oblivious to the other's presence, sat everyone. The girls all on one side, and the guys on the other.......the side right behind me. I coloured. Making a social faux pas on Day 1 hadn't been that high on my priority list. One involving 60 pairs of eyes on me less so.

Its been six months since I joined, but even then the sexist demarcation never ceases to amaze me, even though I'm the only person at tuition from a non coed school. Especially since I'm the only person at tuition from a non coed school.

But its the new year, and I guess the psychological desire to initiate a change at the crack of a new anything [Monday diets, anyone? :P] has finally seeped in at my coaching institute too.

Because now, fellow humans, and ye gods of humanity, the time is ripe for change.

And therefore, [emphasize therefore] the boys and girls have..............
.............swapped sides.
Touche.


*Also, alls well that ends well.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day school reopens after the winter vacation.

Tomorrow is also the day I get back my second Unit exam sheets.

Tomorrow is the day that threatens to make my blog updates a little intermittent.

Tomorrow is the day..... *gulps* I am not really looking forward to.

Memefied :)

Tagged by SporadicBlogger :D

List 5 things that you want to say to people but never will. Dont say who they are.

1. Yes, you're right.Its your fault.
2. Your school, so what?
3. I'm the bestest.Okay?Good.
4. Anything on Pizza other than cheese sucks.
5. ----------- [I can never shut up.Even when I should.Gah.]
   

Five Things I’d Love To Do Before I Die

1. Sky dive
2. Make people believe in themselves, and stop acting like inferiors, thinking their opinion doesn't count.
   
3. Colour my hair blue
4. Stand up for a cause, and take it to completion
5. Write something I can really be proud of
6. [Sorry, this list is too long :)] Make an entire seven course meal without setting fire to the kitchen
7. Convince someone to eat the seven course meal

Five Things I Will Not Do Even If It Kills Me

1. Give in to an argument without a nice, long ( and sometimes rational ) counter argument
2. Read my Business Studies out of my own free will
3. Do a Britney Spears and get photographed without me knickers.Ugh.
4. Stick to people because they're labeled cool.
5. Eat sushi.I'm a nice, considerate kid, especially when it comes to fish :)
   

Five Things I Do When I’m Away From The Public

1. Practice my ispheshul dance moves :P
2. Hog on food.Oh, wait.In public too.So what? =)
   
3. Read.The public doesn't let me read. :(
4. Hmmm.
5. Go on, exercise your grey cells. :D
   

Five Fave Sentences/Quotes

1. To live and not to breathe is to die in tragedy. [Jesus of Suburbia, Greenday]
2. It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. And finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination. [H2G2]
3. Can you put an a/c on your dining table and get thandi hawa? [My accountancy teacher]
4. Some dance to remember, some dance to forget [Hotel California, Eagles]
   
5. We shall now have a little public speaking in public [English class]
   

Five Things I’ll Make You Wish You Didnt Do, If You Did

1. Rebuff me if I answer your question with 42.
2. Say, "You listen to Pakistani Rock Music?!?! EURGH!!"
3. Order a Veggie Supreme for me at Pizza Hut
4. Interrupt me when I'm proving a point.I shall glare, and ask pointedly if I am allowed to speak with your permission.
5. Ask why I've taken up Commerce if I like Physics, and hate Business Studies and Accounts.
   

Five People To Tag

1. Aanchal
2. Prema
3. Dish
   
4. Anahita
5. Shayeri
6. Nik
7. Wacko
8. Sukam/Aku/Shallwe, if it gets any of them to start a blog :]

My Math skills are pretty non existent.
And I like it that way :)

One a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns

You haven't lived if you haven't ever had a typical Indian send off.A Typical Indian Send off [new grammar rules, let the hyphen RIP!] [TIS] usually consists of the following:

1.Your hosts [think the Mummy, Papa, Dada,Dadi,Chacha,Chachi,Pappu,Babloo],Kanta Bai,Bahadur Bhaiya,Tommy,Twinkle Toes coming to the door to see you off.

2.The neighbours peeping through their door, and asking who'd come over.

3.The kids playing football in the street stopping to make way for your car, and then staring exasperatedly at you while you sniff, and hug, and sniff and hug, and sniff and hug, for some half an hour.

Now, if you're supremely unlucky, you'll also be made to eat dahi [think : Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi], like my mum did before my first Board Exam in the Tenth.[I puked it out! I was so nervous, I threw up! :P]

Anyway, so last week, my mum went to Kochi to visit her one of friends from school.Like a nice, dutiful joint Indian family, all of us trudged to the door.And the nice,dutiful family we are [did I mention that earlier?] we also hugged surreptitiously, and loaded the car, and stood there, waiting for her to leave for the airport.

Now this is a rather aimless post.And it also not about the TIS.Hence, I continue.

Now this is where it got fun.A sadhu came by, walking briskly, when seeing us, he stopped.He was of the typical orange clothes, braided, and messed about hair variety, and had a steel katora for alms.He looked at a watch on his wrist.He seemed to be calculating something, and then he frowned.Suddenly, he looked up."Shiv raksha karega, havaii udaan ki raksha karega, de de beta,ma ki bhalai hogi" I grinned, I mean, there's only so much of havaii udaan ki raksha I can take.The sadhu continued, promising safety at a rupee a bone, oblivious to my cynicism.Seeing he wasn't getting any attention, he gave me one last remorseful look, and went along his way.The car left.I closed the door, just about to latch it.

Suddenly, I heard him.I opened the door."Number ek sau do kahan hai?"
I went out, pointed out the house and saw him amble his way; making his way to the house where he had to perform a puja.So we were the in betweens - a quick buck while he was early for something else.

I stared.He was being greeted with garlands and people huddled to touch his toes, while he had
an expression of utmost serenity etched on his face. In the distance, I could just about hear-
"Aap itni jaldi aa gaye, Babaji?"
I sighed and latched the door shut.


PS: Sacrosancity is constantly evolving, my friends.And who wants to stick to the old anyway? So,
Do you wanna Mata?
Oh a Mata,
Do you wanna Mata?
Love me, love me say!

You know...

You know India is a cricket crazy nation when the electricity goes for 3 hours and returns at exactly 2 : 44 PM


India v/s England : 2:45 IST, ESPN/Star Cricket

Outcast and rebel, reporting live

Long time, no post.I've been busy :P
Anyway, all that later.

So yesterday I went for this jagran/chauki/puja.Now if you know me, you'd know I'd be a misfit at one of these.Because well, I can't fathom blaring warped hindi film songs [Krazy kiya re, mata ne, krazy kiya.Krazy, krazy,krazy.CRAZY! :| ] exclaiming your love for God, and wasting money on getting loudspeakers and tents and what not.And then after proclaiming your devotion, you reverse your car, mutter some cuss words at the guy behind you, and whizz off?Thanks, but no thanks.

I reached.
"Didn't you wear puja clothes?"
-"Huh?"
"No salwar kameez?" [I was wearing jeans and a tee :P]
-"Err...nahi...mm..."

So temme something.And this is what I inherently hate about it all.Does my spirituality depend on my clothes? Just because I'm wearing jeans, does it mean I cannot believe, that I pray any less, or that I am shallow? Oh, and yes.Does wearing a salwar kammez automatically make me diligently religious and a true follower?Am I incapable of any sin just because I'm wearing something?


So you say my clothes dictate my beliefs.And my actions are trivial.
The blatant hypocrisy is enough reason for me to not go again.And I won't.

Utterly nonsensicial musings of a bored bleuh-ger : Four dementions.

1.I don't feel like writing anything.At all.Its like I just can't say anything, and I have nothing to talk about and when I finally mumble out something, I make a fool of myself by saying some stupid unrelated stuff.Like this friend of mine said,"Hey!" And I go,"Europa's covered with ice, not mice!" Oh wait.DH is out in four days.Probably that.

2.Now there's this girl in my tuition [yeah, I finally succumbed to them! :P].She spells sets as s-t-a-t-a-s-t-i-c-s.And writes A={a,e,i,o,u} or A={x:x is a vowels in the shy alphabets}.And I'm not being stuck up when I notice this, I was just amazed at level of stupidity which is part of tenth-pass.Mr Ashok Ganguly, are you listening? [Of course you aren't.I'm saying that for effect] THIS is what simplifying papers gets.NOT widespread literacy.Widespread moronity.

3.I mean Ashok Ganuly, the CBSE chairman, not Ashok Ganguly, in the Namesake.

4.I have been blogging [well.in and out] for exactly one year and two days.

18th:English debate.Get zany march-past-uniform-turned-uniform-meant-to-showcase-authority from Aditi.Miss classes.

19th:Hindi debate:Rinse,lather,repeat.

20th:Interschool dramatics.Hmm.Get on duty and/or evade classroom and watch people make a fool of themselves.

21st:DEATHLY HALLOWS! :D

22nd:Re-red Shadow Lines.Memorise [try to][maybe] discussion-speech :|

23rd: Discussion.Watch as people watch me make a fool of myself.

Dear Mr. Bal Thackerey,

I wish to express my complete support to the Shiv Sena's protests against Richard uncle snogging Shilpa aunty.I mean, what does uncle think he was doing, kissing her in full public view and all.Tch tch.What will Sharma uncle tell Pappu when he asks what Richard uncle was doing?

"Haw betaa, yeh kya dekh rahe ho? Quick quick, change the channel.Aah, this is better.Now lets watch this educational documentary on Khajuraho...."

Yes Sir, definitely, it is a commendable effort on your part.Imagine, telling your child that Richard uncle was actually *horror of horrors* kissing poor Shilpa aunty? Yeah, committing the same atrocious sin that Pappu's mummy commits everyday when she kisses him good night? Tauba tauba.

And anyway, these things should be banned.Imagine, how can anyone do what they [those inconsequential creatures that they are] think is alright, if someone as great as your almighty highness thinks it to be wrong?!?!

Uncle's "attack on our cultural ethos" toh you protested Sir, but what really amazes me is that you still haven't come out demanding for my arrest yet.Or maybe Prerna hasn't really talked to yet.That would be strange, considering how she's already told everyone within Hindi speaking limits about my despicable escapades. Anyhow,Sir, I would like to voluntarily offer myself for arrest, since I have performed the banal sin of making my d's as curvy and intricate as possible, and I happen to have a really good friend called Disha, so isn't it obvious that I am so completely in lurve with her? I mean, what could be more blatantly obvious?!

I am very sorry for going against our culture and showing such corrupt mentality, and almost nil morality.I hope you will fittingly rebuke me.

Sigh.I am really sorry to have gone against you Sir, but as Prerna tells me, I have to bear the brunt of my horrendous actions.I hope you will take strict action against me [but please, don't burn my life size effigies, because my gigantic size might make it difficult for you to make them life size.]

With deep apologies, and profound respect,

A very shameless blogger.

Utterly nonsensicial musings of a bored bleuh-ger : Three ain't a crowd

So I'm bored and this is gonna be utterly nonsensical.Ah.Here goes nothing.

1.
25th April,2007 A.D.

Carmel Convent v/s Red Roses Public School [no typos there :P]
Set one : 22-25
Set two : 16-25

Gah.So we lost.No surprises there.But this?!




Yes, millord, in addition to being battered, bruised, and shouted upon, I beg the jury to see that my client was also blinded by a super sonic projectile smacking her face and was therefore, incapable to see what she was doing.And hence, she does not need to be shouted at the very next day, and be made to take extra rounds of the sports field.And therefore, is completely at liberty to sue the school for mental agony and physical torture, not to mention child exploitation.


Over ruled??
OVER RULED?!?!
Wha-?!WHY?!?



2.

And this is the discovery of the week.
Know why Tata-Sky sells like hot cakes Converse high-tops?
Instead of having a child lock on channels like most other stuff, they have.....*cough* a Parental Lock!
I dunno if that is an inadvertent error or a sly marketing ploy, but ha.
*mirthless laughter*
They sure know who's boss.


3.

[UNMBB without HP? In your dreams, missy.]

Would you name your kid Narcissa? I mean, what sort of a parent [even a pure blood fanatic] would want their child to be self obsessed? And come to think of it, Narcissa Black isn't even that narcissistic if you see - the woman was more concerned about saving Draco's skin, than thinking about what the repercussions would be if Snape chinese whispered to Voldy.


And unrelated fodder for thought :

JKR: "There is a character who does manage, in desperate circumstances, to do magic quite late in life, but that is very rare..."

On her website, "there IS a significant - even crucial - answer" to the following question: How and why did Dumbledore have James' invisibility cloak?"

4.

Bored, so bored...
Bored bored bored bored
I'm so bored....



Oh c'mmon, you can always Take [P]Lite.......:P

And incidentally....

Final Result for Award of Scholorship
under
National Talent Search Scheme 2006
and
National Talent Promotion Scheme 2006

Regret ! You are not selected for award of scholorship .

Regret! I was not chosen!?!?!
Sigh.
Darn man.The schol"o"rship was all I lived for.
Curse CBSE!
Curse NCERT!

........and she went to back to her humdrum life again.

BOARDS. Pfft.

In the abyss
With darkness closing around me;In a bottomless chasm,
Aching to be set free.

Slayed by the diabolo;
Solitary.Ruinous.Coerced.
I traverse the hell hole,
Compelled by fate; cursed.



Boards.




ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And teddy bears with red bows......

Celebrating festivals seems to have become the new obsession of the country. Apart from festivals , we've also taken to celebrating the Days of Occasions. So now you have Mother's Day, Father's Day, Mother's Father's Day, Father's Mother's Day, Uncle Tom's Day, Uncle Tom's Cabin's Day, Little Miss Muffet's Day and so on.......


The BIG new occasion in town, big enough to make you f-u-r-g-e-t that you're practically edging past 33.33(recurring)% is.....*hold ya breath* VALENTINE'S DAY!!!.

Now, normal Valentine's Day parlance is something like this:

You wake up groggily, switch on the TV.What hits you first? A news anchor wearing an obnoxious-looking red suit, looking as if he's just won KBC (with SRK, mind you :D), cheerily trying to get you as infused with the "spirit" of the Day.The news set is done up in red (but of course, they need to show they know what the colour of the day is)

Sample news on one the Hindi ones:
Aur aaj desh ke kone kone main Valentine's Day manaya ja rahaa hai. Deepak, hamen bataaiye ki Dilli main kya ho raha hai...
And Deepak, wearing a red tee himself, rants off about how he got his girlfriend a spanking new greeting card (hmph.what else?) and how everyone is going to attend such spiffing do's and have such a sporadicly "fun" time.

Sorry, but leave me out of this.
I don't want a white coloured teddy-bear (of all things) witha red bow.
I don't want red coloured heart-shaped balloons.
I don't want those "The Ultimate Valentine's Day Collection" CDs that materialize out of thin air around Feb the fourteenth.

If I sound like a Shiv Sena loyalist going on about the 'Americanization' of the youth, lemme clarify.
I do appreciate that you'd like to take time out for someone you love, but please, does it have to involve Valentines Day special edition newspapers?
You love someone, go tell them, but for goodness' sake, don't thrust your I Love You messages on my face.

And finally,
Celebrate all you want, but frankly, this isn't celebration.


And don't expect me to join in.




(written in a rare anti-social mood, frequently seen after exam results)

Ow.

My butt is aching after sitting on a wooden plank-chair for three and a half hours straight.






More later.

EDIT:

The full story? You bet.

Though this is not an attempt to expose the insane state of affairs at weird-ish NTSE centres in Delhi, I have an even more weird-ish feeling it just might come close.

12 November, 2006 A.D.
2:00 AM.
I trudge back home bleary-eyed after spending two and a half hours trying to play football with a bunch of guys 1 x 100000000000000000^1000000000 better than me.

7:00 AM.
Moi gets up, looks for school uniform, calls up 5 people to ask if they are going for the NTSE.Is suddenly hit with the relevation that I just might be the only one giving it.

9:00 AM.
I reach Govt Boys Senior Secondary School, Minto Road, just as it says on the admit card.

9:15 AM.
The centre has been changed to Govt Something-Something School, Mata-Something Road, just as it says on the admit card.Not.

9:30 AM.
I am in room no. 12 hopefully with people from school, if they decide to turn up.

9:45 AM.
I am sitting on a wooden plank/chair, next to a wispy-ish 8thie from Lady Irwin School.
I am also being shouted at by the Invigilator for sitting at the wrong seat.
I am also being asked to get up, look up my correct seat number and find it.
I sit at the same seat again because it is the correct seat.
I am shouted at again and made to look for the correct seat.Again.
I am shouted at for the third time AND made to look for the correct seat AGAIN (does it matter that I am ALREADY sitting on it??)
My dad is shouted for being in the room.Does it matter that they are parents of five other kids there??
I think that the Invigilator does not like me.

10:00AM.
MAT begins.

11:30 AM.
MAT ends.
I try not to look at the Invigilator as she collects my question paper.

11:35 AM.
SAT begins. By now, my butt is aching (badly) because I am still sitting on the wooden plank/chair. The fans are off. Every 17.5 mins, I can hear the sound of a train passing.The Invigilator is also pissing me off.Because she happens to think I am some snooty kid.Which I am not.

11:59 AM.
The SAT sucks.Majorly. Super majorly.
I have resigned myself to picking out mistakes in the question paper and irritating the Invigilator by pointing out every single one of them to her, then asking in my most innocuous voice whether she can get them clarified.

12:12PM.
Shruti asks the Invigilator if the people who have finished the paper can leave.The Invigilator says no.
A groan resounds through the un-classroom.

12:56 PM.
Contrary to what Disha expresses on the C-Box, I am not in love with my paper.I am just scouring it for any questions I might know.

1:00 PM
Shruti asks the Invigilator again.The Invigilator says no again.A groan resounds through the un-classroom again.

1:10 PM
The NTSE is over.
A horde of people rushes out of room 12.
Freedom! Liberty! Tyranny is dead!

And so ends a chapter in Vasudha's life.

------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------

And then you expect us to be sane??!!

Its always been a universally accepted fact that the CBSE has never exactly been......well.....normal.I mean, look at the syllabus for instance.The same poem we did last year is there in the Orient Longman Grade 2 textbook.Says a lot for the standard of things.But this happens to be something way unexpected.

I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
Whatever I see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful -- The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall. It is pink, with speckles.
I have looked at it so long I think it is part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.

Now I am a lake.
A woman bends over me, Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully. She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.


-Sylvia Plath

"............................Sylvia suffered from bouts of severe depression throughout her life. She had entered Smith College on a scholarship in 1950, but in the summer of 1953, after her return from a guest editorship at Mademoiselle magazine in New York, she experienced a severe episode of depression and was treated with a regimen of electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) and, subsequently, at the beginning of her junior year, on August 24, 1953, she made the first of her suicide attempts. She was committed to a mental institution, and seemed to make an acceptable recovery, graduating from Smith in 1955, the same year she won the prestigious Glascock Prize competition for her poem "Two Lovers And A Beachcomber By The Sea." She later depicted her breakdown in her semi-autobiographical novel The Bell Jar."

The suicide attempts didn't stop.Know how she finally died?

By sticking her head in an oven.

Utterly nonsensical musings of a bored bleuh-ger

The fact that I haven't been to school this entire week has led to some very un-philosophical thinking on my part....

1.
Which obviously moronic creature named the school clubs?
Lets see...
The quiz club....nexus.
Ahem.As far as I know, nexus means a group of mafia/dons/O! Sambar-bin-chutney and/or Mota Vakeel-esque guys.
Err.....nexus for a quiz club?
I have trouble digesting that.

Hindi Debate Club......parisar.
Parisar arthaat ghar ke aas-paas ki deewar athva ghar ko gherne vaali jagah.

Computer club......oracle (!!!)
Don't get me started on this one.......*though I'd admit it sounds better than what would have been even more confuddling names....."IBM"....or worse.."Microsoft"...:P

-----------

2.
The radio stations have all turned weird and so have the listeners.
Sample this....
"Jaago Zara"....*yea...that song by umm......Viva:D* being played at 1 :09 AM.
Moi was so zapped by it that I didn't even change the station.
BIG MISTAKE.
Turned out one of those corny 'Love Guru' programs was on.Outta sheer curiosity, I plugged in.

Caller:Uhh....uhh.....main ek 16 year old ladki hoon.Mujhe bas ek hi problem hai....uhh..uhh....mera koi boyfriend hi nahi hain.....main KYAAN karoon ki mujhe koi boyfriend mil jaye...?? Aap please meri madad kijiye........

Apparent "Love Guru"-guy : Dekhiye, jab jo cheez honi hogi, ho jayegi.Jab samay sahi ho gaa, tab aapko apna humsafar (:P :P :P) mil jayega. Tabh bhi, koi jaldbaazi mat kariyegaa.Kissi relationship main aise hi mat ghus jayiyega.Aapko zaroor sahi waqt par apna saathi milega.

O....k...a....y..........

That was....umm......very enlightening.......

Oh, and check out this ad I heard....
"Ek sau baras saal ki budiya ki ghutti piye bachcha ghatta-ghatt...
Daant nikle phatta-PHATTTTT!!!!!!"

*squirms in seat and proceeds to next topic of (un)interest...*

------------------

Since this refused to negate my ever-increasing boredom...moi re-read OotP...(for the umm.....31st time?)
Three questions:
What is with Hermione and the room with the veil?

'Lets go ,' called Hermione from halfway up the stone steps.'This isn't right,Harry , come on, let's go.'
She sounded scared, much more scared than she had in the room where the brains swam...

'Harry, let's go , OK?' said Hermione more forcefully.

'I can hear them too,'breathed Luna , joining them around the side of the archway and gazing at the swaying veil.'There are people in there!'
'What do you mean , "in there"?' demanded Hermione, jumping down from the bottom step and sounding much angrier than the occasion warranted,'there isn't anybody "in there", its just an archway, there's no room for anybody to be in there.Harry, stop it, come away-'
She grabbed him arm and pulled, but he resisted.
'Harry, we're supposed to be here for Sirius!' she said in a high-pitched, strained voice.

'What d'you reckon that arch was ?' Harry asked Hermione as they regained the dark circular room.
'I don't know, but whatever it was, it was dangerous,' she said firmly, again inscribing a fiery cross on the door.

*whistles in a low voice*
Well, I dunno what that was all about...BUT that's a way someone would behave if they knew something important about a place and did not want the other person to know it.
I mean, come to think of it, the only reason you'd behave like that would be if some person started getting too curious about something you didn't want them to know, and started getting dangerously close to knowing it............only then would you start shepherding them away from the place.

Yanyway, makes for some grey cell exercise.......

Second thing.......after Dumbledore tells Harry the whole nine yards of the prophecy (Pg 742) he says...
'....in marking you with a scar, he did not kill you as he intended, but gave you powers, and a future, which have fitted you to escape him not once, but four times so far- something that neither your parents, nor Neville's parents , ever achieved.'

Let's count..
Escape no. 1 - As a kid , in Godric's Hollow.
Escape no. 2 - In Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone.
Escape no. 3 - In Chamber of Secrets , from Tom Marvolo Riddle's memory.
Escape no. 4 - In Goblet of Fire, in front of Riddle's anscetral home.
Escape no. 5 - In OotP, in the Ministery of Magic.

1....2.....3....4.....5........??

And last.......thestrals.

The first time Harry is able to see the thestrals is in OotP.Now, thestrals can only be seen if you've seen death, i.e. seen someone die.
So, by that logic, Harry should've been able to see the thestrals in his first year itself 'cause Lily had been killed right in front of his eyes.
Even if he'd blinked when Voldy said Avada Kedavara by some weird chance of fate (:D), he'd still seen what's-his-name umm....yea..Frank Bryce being killed in that vision he had in GoF (or did he???......HEAVEN HELP ME !!!!!.....I'VE FORGOTTEN!!!!!)
Well....even if he didn't what about Lily??


Open questions.Feel free to comment (or else!!!!!)

Un-grounded.*woot*

Yeah.....I'm back.
Finally convinced my mum to un-ground me.......whoopee.
Since I've been gone almost the whole of October....this post is gonna be about my tirades (or their lack thereof) during the most non-uneventful *sheesh* months of the year...... :D

October 1 : Holiday !!!!....Sunday....
Stayed at home and worried about the PTA on 12th.

October 2 : Gandhi Jayanti.Lal Bahadur Shastri's birth anniversary.Dussehra.Durga Puja. Chacha's birthday.Holiday again.

October 3 : School re-opened after the so-called Dussehra break. I mean, look at it. Saturday had to be a holiday anyway. Ditto for Sunday. Monday had a horde of stuff that made it a holiday thrice over. The school authorities wanted to get rid of us after the exams so they gave Friday a hol and called the whole thing a Dussehra break. We're being oppressed, I tell you.

October 4 : Got back most of our papers.In other words, flirted dangerously close with death.

October 5 : Got back the rest of our papers. Pigged out on Shaloma's birthday cake.

October 6 : Moi got a holiday 'cause I didn't wanna go for the school trip.Rishikesh.Sheesh.I have better things to do.

October 7 : Went to see John Tucker Must Die with Hooper, Nangia, Meha and Hooper's cousin Vanessa 'cause we were the only peeps not in Rishikesh.Reached PVR an hour before it began. Roamed about in an empty market.Turned out that we were the only insane creatures who roamed about in markets that hadn't even opened. Saw Barista's shutters being lifted.Barged right in. Made a fool of ourselves by ordering muffins and ice cream at 10 30 am (yes, AM!!).
Somehow spent an hour there. Went back to PVR. The movie turned out to be pretty good...*thongs*....Tried to decide where to have lunch.In the end, decided on the McD's at GK 'cause Hooper and Vanessa said the stuff at the Saket one sucked.I didn't know the food tasted different at all of them.Whatever.Had food.Circled (actually, squared) the market thrice.Got bored.Went to Nangia's place.Played Monopoly. Technically, I won but they refused to admit it.Went back home.Got bored.

October 8 : Was a Sunday.Went to the library.Got four books.Read them.

October 9 : Another dreary Monday. Did nothing except initiate a li'l revolt err....revolt against the Physics teacher :D

October 10 : Went to school.Came back.Went to school again at 5.Went to Rashtrapati Bhavan for a showcase by the President's Bodyguards.Came back to school impressed.Went back home.Was also Karva Chauth.

October 11 : Spent the entire day worrying about the PTA.SOS.SOS.SOS.SOS.SOS.SOS......

October 12 : PTA day. Someone in Dad's office got seriously ill 'cause of dengue, so he couldn't go to school to get my report card.Oh,well.

October 13 : The major fiasco day.In more than one way.Went to school.Went to DPS Mathura Road for a quiz.Didn't qualify (what's new?).BUT this time (as at SGC) ...should have.We got more marks than two of the six qualifying teams.Sanskriti got double the qualifying marks.Neither we nor them qualified.Went to the quizmaster and asked (as politely as we could in spite of our seething anger) what the qualifying marks were. His reply? Ahem."I'm not at liberty to disclose that information."Oh, and was it any surprise that 4 of the 6 qualifying teams were from DPS?
Fiasco number two.Came back home.Was my sis's b'day.Moi was the official DJ.The official waitress.The official clown.And the official dumbass.The party got over with more than a few hiccups.Moi...bored after everything, logged on the net.As always, no one was online.Logged off.Mum came.Shouted at me for not cleaning up some stuff and doing velapanti on the net instead.Was about to open my mouth to retaliate when I heard the next bit of her speech.Apparently, I was grounded.Couldn't go online ever again till I learnt how to behave.Well...my fault I didn't add official servant to my list of titles.

October 14 : Democracy Day at school. 10th and 11th got an off.

October 15 : Sunday.Need I say more?

Otober 16 : Bunked school legally.Went to place called Constitutional Club for a seminar on the Make Poverty History campaign organised by SCS.Was pretty um...enaging, particularly this one play kinda thing by these people from Andhra Pradesh.Me and Nangia had a most um-intellectual discussion on it. The actual discussion is too colourful to be written about here.

October 17 : Quizzotica was suppossed to take place today but got cancelled. AM and SD venting out their anger at the lack of intelligence in school on the Quiz Club.

October 18 : Another hellish day at school.NO free periods.Double Math.Chem.Phy.Geo.Bio.Double Eng.Hindi.*groan*


October 19 : Last day of school b4 Diwali hols.School got over at 11 30 *woot*

October 20 : Mum made me clean my room b4 Diwali.Cleaned my room.Found a lot of stuff I thought I'd thrown.Like this scrap on paper which was privy to my boredom in one of last year's English classes:

All the world's a stage.
And all men and women are merely players.
*faints*
...
....
.....
oops...stage fright.

October 21 : Diwali.Did not burn crackers. Did not play cards. Looks like I might get a halo next.

October 22 : Goverdhan Puja.Didn't know how I was supposed to celebrate it.Didn't.

October 23 : Monday blues.Wait.There was no school today.Umm......whatever.

October 24 : Bhai Duj.Made some easy cash :P

October 25 : Id-ul-fitr.Or was it the next day?

October 26 : Id again.....Maybe.
Oh, and school re-opened.
Apparently...everyone in school knows about our class' crusade against the Phy teacher.*double woot*

October 27 : For the first time this year, free Physics period. The teacher was absent.Maybe she's absconding.Hmm......

October 28 : Saturday.Woke up at 5 (AM!!!).Went to school.Volleyball practice.Returned back home with a pair of torn jeans.

October 29 : Woke up at 4 30 (yes....AM!!!).Went to school again.Turned out I'd reached half an hour b4 practice.Pumped up the volume on my sister's iPod (which I'd sneaked :D) and took 8 rounds of the entire court.Discovered a way to enter the canteen even when it was locked (no kidding!!!!) Lost a practice match to SVISG (the name's too long to write :P).Came back home with a pair of legs in no working condition.

October 30 : The volleyball tournament for which we'd been practising got cancelled because of the trader's bandh.*mutters a bunch of explicitives*
Priyadarshini Mattoo's killer got the death sentence.*triple woot*Public power lives.Unlike Dumbeldore, the Indian judiciary is not dead.*high fives an imaginary hand in the air*

October 31 : Trader's strike continues.Took an off from school.Got MAJORLY bored at home.Oh, well......that's life.

----------------------zzz.......-------------------
*v-dha falls asleep on the keyboard after taxing her brain so much.
post a comment to wake her up!!!!*

Grounded.

Okay folks, its official.
I'M GROUNDED.
INDEFINITELY.

Quit rejoicing. You can at least feign some mourning for my *sniff* sake.

Oh, and [belated] happy Diwali.
May the good soon win over the teachers evil.

Cheers! :D

Are people going crazy, or is it just me?

rad's wierd frnd: hola

vasudha: heya
so finally...........whuz dis

rad's wierd frnd: chie meorng piritt

vasudha: wat?

rad's wierd frnd: spanish

vasudha: duh.........i got dat much.......bt whur u dude?

rad's wierd frnd: hi there
i know for sure
something abt english

vasudha: ..............

rad's wierd frnd: who are u

vasudha: hey w8 a sec.......ur radhika's frnd, rnt u?

rad's wierd frnd: now who is radhika?
i dnt knw

vasudha: radhika saxena

rad's wierd frnd: all girls run behind with this std dialogue
excuse me i dnt knw

vasudha: kay......now lets get dis straight

rad's wierd frnd: yup

vasudha: frst of all....you send me mails
...............continuously

rad's wierd frnd: me, pardon

vasudha: and den, ur da one askin me whu i am .........

rad's wierd frnd: so strange!!!!!!!!!

vasudha: and to top it all,,,,,
you think im intrstd in u....
well.......

rad's wierd frnd: its necessary to knw who is at other side of comp
i think so
dont know
god is great and world is very small
isnt it

vasudha: and deyr r ppl whu think deyr god himself
well....
so go take a hike....
get lost
do wateva ............

rad's wierd frnd: take care buddy have to go send me ur profile throgh email

vasudha:................ but leave me alone

rad's wierd frnd: i will have a look and if any interest willbe contacted for sure

vasudha: and yea....i do not want emails from ppl i dunno

rad's wierd frnd: excuse me u sending me emails

vasudha: helloo????!!!

rad's wierd frnd: chao

vasudha: I AM NOT INTERESTED!!!!!!!!!

rad's wierd frnd: me too!
wow hum tum story again

vasudha: well den y dont u just get lost??!!....

rad's wierd frnd: i like ur attitude
wht do u think
should we talk each other more
chiao

vasudha: no way.....

rad's wierd frnd: take care

vasudha: bye....adios....wa eva..... jus get lost.....hopefully foreva .....

RADHIKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dude......you have some serious explaining to do.....
I thought you told me this wierdo was some friend of yours........who had some wierd fixation with sending people on YOUR mailing list e-mails...
so far, so good.

but this??!!!

(PS.....I hope you know who I'm tlking about..^~^)