Introducing Bo

Meet Bo, the omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent pseudo God, half Satan.

Bhow, bhow,
Oh my God, its Bo!
You only reap what you sow
You have hairy palms, no?
We shall go - play with Play Doh
Hona hai jo, hone do.
Listen to the crow crow
The Indian Space Research Organisation is called ISRO
You rise when its dark
The heavens break apart
And quote to thee,
Lucifer's child, the ant clark
[Six, six six! The number of the Beast!]
Prepared is thy zoic feast
Thy arrows :
Will through bone marrow
And call to blithe mortals in a low baritone
'Minions, Armageddon nears
Look to the heavens, fear oh fear'
Bo, neo Zeus
Aam, seb, ganna juice
Das rupay, paanch rupay, teen rupay glass
Aao piyo, bahut hai khaas
A glass of sang-froid stands prepared
Vlad [the Impaler] hath not better fared
Slitting the throats of a thousand kind
Slaying more monsters than you can find
Woe betide thee oh Earth and Sea
O Bo, please set us free.

[Yes, I'm back.
Will reply to comments tomorrow though, I'm awfully sorry and awfully tired too. ]

[And the *cough* exquisite poetry is courtesy the us :


l-r, that's Nik, me and Rad. In case you're planning to sue for mental harassment, just er.. forget this. You're hallucinating. Really. :|]

Whaadever Stuff

How do you kill two birds with one stone?
Thwack and thwack?
No.

Thwack.Thwack.
whizz.....BOOM!
Thud.


The PETA monster gets you!
Hahahahahahahahaha!
Stop, now. It isn't funny to writhe and shriek in laughter. Cough, cough.

Okay, shoot, I can't be funny to save my life.
There, count the puns.
One, two, buckle my shoe.

Argh.
The whole point of this post is......um, something.
Yes!
You kill two birds with one stone by going to Adventure Island, then riding the Sidewinder till you're tipsy, and then finishing off the day capturing a heavenly sunset.




There, I'm done now.
Scamper.

Stuff.

[Found this while draft-cleaning, dated November last year.I creep myself out sometimes. :| ]


Sometimes laughing all the time isn't such a good thing. People think that's all what you are. And when you've laughed at everything, every time, you reach a point when you can't do it anymore. You're not permitted to maybe, by some great natural law of things. You just can't laugh things off. You can't do anything. You're the one who laughed so hard, you cried. And then, when you want to cry, you can't. You're this great blob of something that exists. Barely. You feel like an emotionless sadist. You know you're supposed to feel bad because you've inadvertently hurt someone, and yourself, but you can't. The tears don't flow anymore. You hate yourself for being so cold, so uncaring, so hollow, so unfeeling, but you can't do anything about it. You just see it happening in front of you - you, sitting there, just being, your eyes reflecting the vacuum inside, the nothingness around you. You don't feel pain, you don't feel dread, you don't fear anything. You won't do anything reckless, because you're just not there. Because you're okay.
And you see yourself there. Okay.
Time stops. You're listening to a song on your iPod, and you don't know when it ended, what was playing. You're eating. Something. Maybe.
You know it all, yet you don't. But you're okay.
You're calm inside. It might be the lull before the storm. Or the peaceful smile on a dead face. Who knows? You don't. Yet, you do. Because you're okay.

And then, in a moment of blurriness, you let go. You're looking at old things, you're yourself again. You can't help yourself, everything comes tumbling out. You're laughing. And crying.
And then, it subsides.
Blankness.
You close your eyes.
You're okay.
And then, you smile.
You're "okay".

And this...

....is called a post!
Mwahahaha.


Sigh.
*yawns*

One a penny, two a penny, hot cross buns

You haven't lived if you haven't ever had a typical Indian send off.A Typical Indian Send off [new grammar rules, let the hyphen RIP!] [TIS] usually consists of the following:

1.Your hosts [think the Mummy, Papa, Dada,Dadi,Chacha,Chachi,Pappu,Babloo],Kanta Bai,Bahadur Bhaiya,Tommy,Twinkle Toes coming to the door to see you off.

2.The neighbours peeping through their door, and asking who'd come over.

3.The kids playing football in the street stopping to make way for your car, and then staring exasperatedly at you while you sniff, and hug, and sniff and hug, and sniff and hug, for some half an hour.

Now, if you're supremely unlucky, you'll also be made to eat dahi [think : Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi], like my mum did before my first Board Exam in the Tenth.[I puked it out! I was so nervous, I threw up! :P]

Anyway, so last week, my mum went to Kochi to visit her one of friends from school.Like a nice, dutiful joint Indian family, all of us trudged to the door.And the nice,dutiful family we are [did I mention that earlier?] we also hugged surreptitiously, and loaded the car, and stood there, waiting for her to leave for the airport.

Now this is a rather aimless post.And it also not about the TIS.Hence, I continue.

Now this is where it got fun.A sadhu came by, walking briskly, when seeing us, he stopped.He was of the typical orange clothes, braided, and messed about hair variety, and had a steel katora for alms.He looked at a watch on his wrist.He seemed to be calculating something, and then he frowned.Suddenly, he looked up."Shiv raksha karega, havaii udaan ki raksha karega, de de beta,ma ki bhalai hogi" I grinned, I mean, there's only so much of havaii udaan ki raksha I can take.The sadhu continued, promising safety at a rupee a bone, oblivious to my cynicism.Seeing he wasn't getting any attention, he gave me one last remorseful look, and went along his way.The car left.I closed the door, just about to latch it.

Suddenly, I heard him.I opened the door."Number ek sau do kahan hai?"
I went out, pointed out the house and saw him amble his way; making his way to the house where he had to perform a puja.So we were the in betweens - a quick buck while he was early for something else.

I stared.He was being greeted with garlands and people huddled to touch his toes, while he had
an expression of utmost serenity etched on his face. In the distance, I could just about hear-
"Aap itni jaldi aa gaye, Babaji?"
I sighed and latched the door shut.


PS: Sacrosancity is constantly evolving, my friends.And who wants to stick to the old anyway? So,
Do you wanna Mata?
Oh a Mata,
Do you wanna Mata?
Love me, love me say!

You know - 2

You know economists can be a yawn stimulating-ly unimaginative bunch when the new economic policy in 1991 is christened NEP.




New Economic Policy.

Utterly nonsensicial musings of a bored bleuh-ger : Four dementions.

1.I don't feel like writing anything.At all.Its like I just can't say anything, and I have nothing to talk about and when I finally mumble out something, I make a fool of myself by saying some stupid unrelated stuff.Like this friend of mine said,"Hey!" And I go,"Europa's covered with ice, not mice!" Oh wait.DH is out in four days.Probably that.

2.Now there's this girl in my tuition [yeah, I finally succumbed to them! :P].She spells sets as s-t-a-t-a-s-t-i-c-s.And writes A={a,e,i,o,u} or A={x:x is a vowels in the shy alphabets}.And I'm not being stuck up when I notice this, I was just amazed at level of stupidity which is part of tenth-pass.Mr Ashok Ganguly, are you listening? [Of course you aren't.I'm saying that for effect] THIS is what simplifying papers gets.NOT widespread literacy.Widespread moronity.

3.I mean Ashok Ganuly, the CBSE chairman, not Ashok Ganguly, in the Namesake.

4.I have been blogging [well.in and out] for exactly one year and two days.

18th:English debate.Get zany march-past-uniform-turned-uniform-meant-to-showcase-authority from Aditi.Miss classes.

19th:Hindi debate:Rinse,lather,repeat.

20th:Interschool dramatics.Hmm.Get on duty and/or evade classroom and watch people make a fool of themselves.

21st:DEATHLY HALLOWS! :D

22nd:Re-red Shadow Lines.Memorise [try to][maybe] discussion-speech :|

23rd: Discussion.Watch as people watch me make a fool of myself.

Haze

Haze Blues Bar, Priya Cinema Complex, Vasant Vihar, New Delhi

So what came first : the name or the smoke?

Multiple Personality Disorder?

Well.Well.Well.
Now, we all know celebrities are well, pretty crazy to put it mildly.Substantive proof?
Look no further:

Sachin Tendulkar during a fancy dress competition in college.

Buffoon-ing around....

Just a teenie-weenie filler.

Was IMing Shall-we, the almighty football worshipper.
Called her a buffoon.
She thought I meant Buffon.
Moi rolled my eyes.
Tried to explain what buffoon was.
Couldn't.
Finally, had to beseech the great Merriam-Webster to sort me out..


buffoon
One entry found for buffoon.
Main Entry: buf·foon
Pronunciation: (")b&-'fün
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French bouffon, from Old Italian buffone
1 : a ludicrous figure : clown
2 : a gross and usually ill-educated or stupid person
- buf·foon·ish /-'fü-nish/ adjective

Nothing wrong with it?

Read it again.

Still nothing?

from Old Italian buffone

Old Italian.

BUFFONE.

BUFFON.

Moi stared rapturously.

Why would anyone have a last name that meant..well... moron?

I mean....usually ill-educated or stupid person?

So....

Shall-we the great was right after all.

I concede defeat.

Zzz......

*rudely woken up from the myriadic depths of prolonged sub-consciousness by a loudly buzzing cell phone alarm that refuses to run out of its battery when it is supposed to*

umm.......*opens one eye*.......oh...the blog??.......I'll update it.....err.....tomorrow.....yea..pakka........

*is forced to open the other eye when a certain someone called Nitya posts some...(what was it?)....yea.....6....posts in one day....*

Well.....I'm back......*drum roll*....*red carpet out*.....*cameras flashing*......
Yup...me....nitya....and the rest of us have *cough* survived the ordeal *cough* of getting out papers back............
Let's move on to more pleasant stuff , shall we?

September..............thoust extended its cruel hands and sealed my fate with finalty...........

18th : Math Exam.
AHEM.
AND ONE MORE THING------
Moi grounded.

20th : Hindi Exam.
A MUCH LOUDER AHEM.

22nd : Eng Exam.
Oh, we love Julius Caesar, don't we?

25th : Social Studies
Et tu, social studies?

27th : Science
Then die,Caesar Vasudha.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Exceptions

Was sitting bored in class...(what else will I be doing in bio??!!) when I saw these 4 or 5 kids sitting (in the front row obviously) totally rapt, with open mouths and wide eyes, gaping at the teacher.
The rest of the class was gaping at them.
Exceptions, obviously.


Why is it that for every single thing, there are these people who turn out to be different?
Different in thought, different in actions, different someway.
Always.

How is it that for something (supposedly) everyone likes, there is always a person who detests it?
Something might be thought to be universally hated, but why is there always someone who has a fervent passion for it?

Exceptions.


What would you say if I gave you the lifeless expanse of a desert , proved that life did not exist there for miles around, except on a small speck of sand lying indistinguishable among all the rest?
A speck so minuscule, that even if you tried to see it standing upright, you'd fail.

And on that very speck, if I said, there existed billions of life forms, millions of species, some of them sized a trillionth of that speck.

And what if each of them consisted of particles even smaller, so small they weren't even visible to those tiny organisms?

Brimming with these life forms, what if it was just this speck that showed all this?
Just this among those vast multitudes of sand.

Unimaginable, isn't it?

Yet, that is exactly what the Earth is.
An exception.


Our existence is an exception.


Call it what you may: fate, divine intervention, co-incidence, or even science.....
...life is an exception.


And so is your class nerd. Jeez.