Dear Mr. Bal Thackerey,

I wish to express my complete support to the Shiv Sena's protests against Richard uncle snogging Shilpa aunty.I mean, what does uncle think he was doing, kissing her in full public view and all.Tch tch.What will Sharma uncle tell Pappu when he asks what Richard uncle was doing?

"Haw betaa, yeh kya dekh rahe ho? Quick quick, change the channel.Aah, this is better.Now lets watch this educational documentary on Khajuraho...."

Yes Sir, definitely, it is a commendable effort on your part.Imagine, telling your child that Richard uncle was actually *horror of horrors* kissing poor Shilpa aunty? Yeah, committing the same atrocious sin that Pappu's mummy commits everyday when she kisses him good night? Tauba tauba.

And anyway, these things should be banned.Imagine, how can anyone do what they [those inconsequential creatures that they are] think is alright, if someone as great as your almighty highness thinks it to be wrong?!?!

Uncle's "attack on our cultural ethos" toh you protested Sir, but what really amazes me is that you still haven't come out demanding for my arrest yet.Or maybe Prerna hasn't really talked to yet.That would be strange, considering how she's already told everyone within Hindi speaking limits about my despicable escapades. Anyhow,Sir, I would like to voluntarily offer myself for arrest, since I have performed the banal sin of making my d's as curvy and intricate as possible, and I happen to have a really good friend called Disha, so isn't it obvious that I am so completely in lurve with her? I mean, what could be more blatantly obvious?!

I am very sorry for going against our culture and showing such corrupt mentality, and almost nil morality.I hope you will fittingly rebuke me.

Sigh.I am really sorry to have gone against you Sir, but as Prerna tells me, I have to bear the brunt of my horrendous actions.I hope you will take strict action against me [but please, don't burn my life size effigies, because my gigantic size might make it difficult for you to make them life size.]

With deep apologies, and profound respect,

A very shameless blogger.