Fluff

[also, UNMBB no. 5]

• I is being thrown out of the house. The mother says I is a bad influence on the kids because I care about my marks overmuch.

• Overzealous tuition teachers can be hazardous to health. My Economics tutor just got an A/C installed in our room, and in the josh of jawaani, keeps it on at full blast at 18C. Couple this with my delicate little nose, and you have an olfactory disaster. Picture this : I'm sniffing away to glory, and the leaky sneaky thing refuses to stop. So I think I'll run down to the chemist and get some tissue paper. Lo and behold, the chemist hands me a wad of 300 table tissues. I ask if they have a smaller pack, and the answer's in the negative. At this precise moment, my friend comes up with a bright plan. Why not use wet wipes? I give her a deadpan look and say, "They're -wet.-" She uses the mesmer, or whatever, but at the end of it, I give in. Now the pack I buy is aloe vera and mint extract. This should be a good time to be wary, seeing my past history with aloe vera, but cold viruses numb your brain. We're back at the tuition centre and now I get this incredulous stare from the first person I see. I realise I'm holding a wet tissue to my nose. A wet, or in other words, completely and utterly drenched tissue. One that says,"Wow, isn't that some cold?" Blah.

• Paul Newman endorsed Lux. Someone please lend the guy some money.

• Rabri Devi has sisters called Rasgulla, Paan and Jalebi. Someone please send them my sympathies.

• You didn't go for COQ 08, did you? Ha, sucker. That's why you didn't know.

• In Breaking News at School!, the Chem lab has been shifted from the first floor to the ground floor. Why? Because the pillars supporting it were cracking. All thanks to the lovely, studious Science kids who can't fathom spending a single minute without Pradeep [the book, silly] and therefore spend 24 hours of holy inactivity studying. This leads to the formation of perfectly spherical human spheres of scientific excellence, and puts too much weight on the pillars. The pillars can't bear the brunt, and crumble. What if someone had actually come under them? Studying is injurious to health. Your honour, I rest my case.
  

• Now Dish the Fish has been up to some tough, tough work lately. No, she hasn't mastered the art of laughing without the hand coming up to cover her mouth yet [though persevere and you will learn, bachcha.] In actuality, she's done much more. Madame Amphibian has found me a proposed soulmate! In her words, "He sounds SO much like you, the solutions to problems he gives, his accent! [I don't have an accent btw, just an overlyexcitedspeakfastrushwhooosh way of talking], has this really nice, deep voice [um. I screech. And that's me being objective. :|] and he hosts a radio show!"
  

Sounds perfect, doesn't he?

Just this minor catch.

His show is called er.. Between The Sheets.