Armageddon

[Nik and I swapped. We presumed the world was sick of our self obsessed, narcissistic selves gloating about who else, but us, on our respective blogs, so we thought a diss war on each other would be a welcome change. Breathe, world for you have been salvaged!]

Vasudha's been nagging me for the past week now to write a post for her as a guest blogger. And since it seems she has managed to teach her pigs to fly and then retrieve the Pandora's Box from an eagle's nest somewhere in North America, I caved.

Vasudha is the kind of person who, on first encounter, will most probably cause you to assume that she is naturally brilliant. But the bright blinding light of intelligence will slowly and quite steadily wane to reveal the inherent idiocy and conspicuous lack all things sensible. You will also soon realize that the kid is completely and utterly insane.
Justifications for this statement would number in the hundreds of millions, one of them being BIRDIE. Birdie is Vasudha's creation and, I quote her, a creation of pure and unadulterated genius. It is a robotic bird whose primary and only purpose is to "stare off" predators (such as: butterflies, fairies form Neverland and furry woodland creatures.) (...) Now you judge and say whether anything with a brain larger than the size of half a pea could have come up with Birdie?
If you remain unconvinced of of my proclamation that She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is psychotic, simply strike up a conversation with Her. All your doubts and misgivings will be decimated.

Despite the fact that Vasudha plays host to traits that would instill treacherous fear in the heart of Hector, I respect her. The reason for this respect is a solitary one: she managed to bring US down to tears.
It was in the tenth grade that US requested her class to give her a unabashed, candid and frank teacher's review. Unfortunate as it may seem, Vasudha was a student of the very class and of course the sadist in her would not let such an opportunity to torment pass. So, as the circumstance presented, she got up and told US that she is the most unforgivably wretched, abysmal and inept teacher that ever disgraced the face of the Earth. Having managed to denigrate and belittle the teacher in a civil and courteous tone and demeanor she wasn't hauled down to the Principle's office for insubordination (no reaming.. lamentable, I agree.) On the contrary a magnificent image that stirs and inspires faith in righteousness was permanently seared into the minds of the students of the class, an image of US welling with tears. Each student in that class is indebted to Vasudha.

Now I'm pretty sure I'm the one in for a reaming, but I hope I managed to unveil the real Vasudha, the unhinged senseless sadist.

-Nik (aka: Nangia, Absentmindednik, Sadist, Cynic, Demented Dumbass, Plain Queer, All that is Wrong with the World, Abominable Being)


In my defence, I reply :
1. Birdie was a robot Nik's brother was planning to make when were in the 9th standard. He was the head of the Robotics dept in his school, and this was his official entry to some Japanese robot making competition. She gave me the cue for it, I only developed on the hints. And it was funnier than this. Hmph.

2. I didn't slaughter the poor teacher, aww her. I just *cough* pointed out some flaws in her teaching method and educational outlook. And said that she um, needed to restart the course [This was in July] since we had basically registered naught, which she did. She hated me with a vengeance after that, still does in fact. She would have been my class teacher had I taken Science, and in the week that I did have Science, she made me realise why my decision to shift was the most extraordinary stroke of brilliance ever, gloriously beating naked Eureka moments.

Links very generously provided by Her Absentmindedness, Nik.
Oh, and its a mutual guest blogging project. Leaves scope for revenge. Check her blog next week. :D